So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
