hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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