Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My penis needs a shock collar
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
