tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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