Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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