Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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