i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize