Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
