haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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