See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
