Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
