If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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