Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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