Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
whose parrot is this?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
