Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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