Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
