Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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