Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
