If i come over, it means nothing
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
