i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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