So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
