It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
