we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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