Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
