I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
