so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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