and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
