from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
