so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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