went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
