You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
