Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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