You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
