If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
