Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
