It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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