garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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