I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
