I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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