I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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