We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
