Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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