i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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