so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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