Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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