Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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