Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
