you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
