I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
