Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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