I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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