so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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