She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
