Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
