More tranny stories later!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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