is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
