someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
