kristin has been a bad kristin
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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