I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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