You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize